Tuesday, January 13, 2009

I Really Need a Taser



I woke up with a scratchy throat and a kink in my neck. You know the kind, where it catches when you turn a certain way and it makes your whole head ache. Then there is the tiny cough, not bad but making me lose my voice. My day got worse.

There are days when I really hate my employees. Not all of them. Just 2. Young guys who are so much smarter than me and are sure that if they worked somewhere else, life would be a breeze. They said McDonalds has benefits. They said the previous owner was cooler. They said they deserved a raise and they work their asses off. All within earshot of me. This is what I say. First, McDonalds is a big money franchise who has enough employees to be able to give benefits. If you would like to go there, please give notice as I could easily replace you with someone who wants a job. The cool previous owner did not spend a damn penny on upkeep on this shithole so we have dumped thousands into it to bring it up to par. The economy was fine then and his mortgage was low. His food bill was not $25,000 a month. You do not ever work your asses off. Your 5 minute breaks are more like 12 and you talk back to every f%**7$#g word we say to you. You ride the clock for hours to get a paycheck to party and then mooch gas money from your mother. You spend tons of your not hard earned money on your whore girlfriends who in turn sleep with your friends and lie about it. You spend even more on your piece of shit, loudass cars which by the way are NOT cool. I have to look at your boxers and butts everyday because wearing pants with your ass hanging out is sexy. You waste food, use bad language, make lewd comments, call me cutie, and treat the other employees like they are beneath you. Do me a favor and quit. I'm pretty sure you've heard that times are tough, unemployment is up and people are losing their homes, cars and livelihoods. Those factories and fast food places have much more to offer a fresh high school graduate with no college aspirations and no life goals. Show them some love. I have had enough. Mr. Funny is also disgusted. I have 1 1/2 acres and a mean German Shepherd who would help me take you out (not on a date) and a Jack Russell who could dig your grave. So either piss or get off the pot, you raise my blood pressure and make me think bad, evil criminal thoughts and I really am making an effort to be nicer in 2009. Don't screw it up for me, it won't end well.

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