Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Disappearing

I miss being a stay at home mom. I haven't been one for years but at least when you are home all day, you know what to expect.
It's all right there IN YOUR FACE all day.
I worked all day (one of those days when you are running and crazy all day and just want it to end so you can sit down) and when Mr. Funny got to work to relieve me, I stayed for awhile to do word puzzles, enjoy a late lunch with some of the servers, and relax.
The phone calls begin shortly after.
"Mom, when are you coming home? Can I play Xbox? Facebook? My room is clean. Where is the cord to the computer?"
We could send these kids to a prison to torture terrorists.
Let them ask them where the computer cord is all day long.
Ask them for money. Ask where their favorite socks are. Ask to get on Facebook.
They will slit their own throats with their fingernails. Puncture their eardrums.
AAAGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I tell them I am busy and to stop calling.
I go to leave and I have so many missed calls on my phone.
I wonder if they were on fire, bleeding or dying in a ditch.
I come home.
Same thing.
Questions, problems, annoying arguments over who messed up the basement and who is going to clean it. Why should they fold laundry when I am around. Who put that cup on the counter.
Do you think Mr. Funny had to deal with this pishposh all day?
I seriously doubt it.
I bet they didn't even know he was here.
I should find out where he hides.

We took away all of the extra curricular crap from them "indefinitely" because there was always a mess and nobody to clean it.
For a few days it has been clean and peaceful. But I gave them each some computer and video game time today if they did their chores without being asked and now they are harassing me to check the basement and their rooms and show them where we keep the vacuum again.

Is there an island somewhere quiet?
Where is Gilligan's Island?
The island from "Lost"?
Land of the Lost?
Nobody ever found any of them did they?

I'm setting sail soon.

I will make sure this island has high speed internet because I would miss you all so.
I shall pack vodka and limes and lipgloss. People magazine, Us Weekly and Real Simple. My Rachael Ray today mag. and my pillow. A toothbrush and a razor. No, scratch that, who needs to shave when you are alone. Maybe deodorant. A spear in case something scary tries to eat me.

Yep, they will miss me when I am gone.

4 comments:

  1. can I come too?? that island sounds wonderful. imagine all that with working at home, trying to be productive, but trying to put out fires at times duringthe day; Calgon take me away......

    I totally understand

    betty

    ReplyDelete
  2. Go.
    I'm All For It.
    Only because you'd still be blogging.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Can I come too, I'm old and wouldn't last long, but I'm fat so at least you would have that to look forward to...maybe I could conviently pass around a holiday for feasting purposes.

    I have backwoods skills!

    ReplyDelete

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