Thursday, September 3, 2009

The Darkness Has Lifted

I have sat down to write this post a few times and each time, I go back to reading other blogs.
If I put it off any longer, it will mean that the dark side has won and I am too competitive to let it win so here goes.

I am not sure what to say even but I will start by saying that I will not be posting as many things about my kids and family because there are some really sick, evil excuses for human beings out there and they may or may not read my blog.

We have removed my son from the college that he was attending.
He had his room broken into more than once and his wallet (and his room mates 6 wallets) was stolen.
There is no way to completely lock the entire room because there is a bathroom between the rooms and the suitemates in the other room and anyone visiting them can go into this bathroom and walk right into the other room. And they did. More than once.
And we are out the cash in his wallet, his license, and his debit card (which we cancelled and it was never used by anyone but the Big One) plus his AAA card.

We filed a report with the police and college but after getting nowhere on the safety issue, we just told him lock everything up and keep his computer with him.

After this incident, things took a strange turn and my son's room mate (who is gay) began harassing him and threatening him. Tell him what to do and where to go, what clubs to join and who to hang out with. And threatening our family. (And he told us on move-in day that he was in the military and he had a gun on campus because he was allowed (absolutely not allowed) and he was very wealthy.)
He developed a crush on my son at college orientation (unbeknownst to my son) and friended him and at some point they had decided to be room mates. My son did not get the signals. Then my son and another good friend had decided they wanted to room together instead but it was too late to change it and we had to wait for the college to switch them later.
My son was not worried because this kid had a boyfriend and knew my kid was straight and not interested but at the time of move-in, my son informed me that he had a creeped out feeling and wanted another room mate.
We told him we would make this happen as soon as the weekend was over and we went home.
I never felt completely at ease with leaving him but I knew he was at a wonderful, safe college and he would be surrounded by friends and kids with the same interests and I put it out of my head.
Moms, please listen to your gut feelings. Always.

The harassment and threats began shortly after and I firmly believe that the wallet incident was tied to the room mate and his wanting to bring them closer together with a similar tragedy.
When I talked to my son earlier in the evening, he was ok but wanted to get out of the room and later on the phone, he was outside because when he told the room mate he was moving out, the big threats began.
He would scream sexual discrimination, he would have his high powered criminal attorney mother sue us and take our business away, he would tell everyone my son was gay, he would follow him to the ends of the earth and ruin his life and he had done it before. He said he had sent a kid to jail for the same thing. He would never give up. Unless my son cooperated and complied with his wishes.


As soon as I heard these things come out of my son's mouth, I had Mr. Funny call the campus police who said he was an adult and they could not get involved. My husband told them that if they did not show up, he would call the city police and they finally showed up. My son was locked out of his room when they got there and ultimately, he was moved to a new room in a different dorm. The new room mate was a friend of this other kid and he let him know where my son was and at 2 am the ex-room mate showed up for some more threats and ultimatums. (Yes, my son let him in to talk and end this as friends but told him to leave soon after.)  He showed up again at 4am and walked right in through the other door and was told to get the hell out.

We had planned to go visit on Saturday and take him to a nice lunch and a trip to Target. 
We took him to the police station to file harassment claims and to talk to them about why he was put in a safer room and the kid still had access to him.

To make a long story short, he is safe now.
The police dept and the college failed. The safety of my child was compromised and nobody took it seriously (they are now) because to them it was an argument between 2 kids and I am sure that happens all the time.
The threats I take very seriously.
I have many ways to protect my child and I will use any and all of them.

I honestly think that this kid is a lying piece of shit and that his mother is probably a hamster breeder and he is not rich and he is not in the military if he ever was. I think he made up a story to make himself sound important because he isn't.I have done some investigating on my own and caught him in many lies. He told my son he allergic to alcohol, he has pages that say is a drinker. He has said he is from one place, he has Facebook and My Space pages (yes, pages) that have other places where he was raised. he claims to have military background but many things do not add up which I will keep to myself.  He may or may not have a gun (hey, I have a gun too, and anger issues) and he may have a big mouth and know a lot of people but he is a con man and and I think people fear him but my son is not afraid anymore and I have assured him that he needs to move on and this is over)
I have a big mouth and I know a lot of people too.
There are steps we are taking to reinforce his safety as well.
We have a lot of people on our side including the law and our own high powered attorney.
We also have a wonderful God who will protect us and show us the road to peace.

Please be careful.
Watch what you post, and what your children post on the internet.
This kid may know I have a blog, he may read it, he may not.
My son said he knew a lot about us but if he posted it on FB, anyone can see it.
If he does read it, I hope he is completely clear that if he sets foot near any of us ever, if he ever threatens us or says things about us, he will suffer.
I promise.

This could have easily happened with a straight room mate.
Being bullied and harassed is not limited to sexual orientation. I have had friends who had daughters harassed by other girls, boys harassed by girls and boys harassed by boys.
The fact that my son is straight and his room mate is gay is not the issue.
The threats and the fear tactics and harassment are the issues.
And by all means, trust your gut and your tell your kids to trust theirs.
Watch your kids, know what they are doing, meet and talk to their friends.Guts don't lie.

My son is at a new wonderful college. They are thrilled to have him. He is happier than ever, he has put this behind him and moved on.
I am still angry and I am still taking steps to avoid this happening again and to stop this kid from doing it again.
One of these days, he will screw up again and get his due diligence.
People will realize he is a fake, a loser and a waste of time.
It is a battle of words and I may not win the battle but in the end, we will win the war.
I have opened the eyes of many and I hope to do the same to you.

I hope to have a funny story soon.
Have a great day!

9 comments:

  1. I'm SO sorry that you and your family have had to deal with this. But it sounds like you're in a good place now--a place where you have the power. You're in my thoughts!

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  2. What a nightmare. I am so sorry! But glad that your son is happy and safe.

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  3. I can't believe this has happened to you guys. There truely are some sick people out there!
    I'm glad he is in a safer place now.

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  4. hugs to you; I was thinking about you this morning and worried something was going on; I had no idea; I am so glad that your son is safe now; what a scum this person was and worse yet that the college was giving you such grief in dealing with it. That's despicable

    I, for one, value my family's privacy online. You just never know what is reading these things. That's why you'll never see pictures of us on our blog except for Koda and he looks like so many other red-head corgis, but you get my drift. Do be careful!!!!

    hugs to you; I'm so sorry you went through it but I'm glad you are emerging on the other side a winner and that your son is doing better at his new college

    what a nightmare!

    I'm thinking God was definitely working on your side through this whole thing.......

    betty

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  5. Nobody should have to go through what your son (and ultimately your family) has gone through.
    You are right about being careful with what you post. There are a lot of sick people out there. Unfortunately, your son got paired up with one of them.
    I hope you get some peace now.

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  6. What a horror story. What a fright. What a headache. What a nutjob.
    Thank God you were able to be there and get him away from the situation.
    Thank God he's in another school.
    Deep breaths. It's over. Thank God.

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  7. Oh, I'm so sorry you've had to go through all this! I'm glad your son is safe now.

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  8. found your blog from HOUSEWIFE SAVANT. I love finding new blogs, and am sorry to read your latest post, but I really LOVE your blog! LOVE, LOVE, LOVE! I am a mommy blogger too. Come and give me a visit to follow and I'll return the favor!

    http://www.speakingfromthecrib.com/

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  9. I hope that you and your family will remain safe and that this nightmare is over for you. You are right, you just never know about people. Sending your family a big hug and hoping your continue to blog because you make so many of us happy. You are in my thoughts!

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