Sunday, September 20, 2009

Where I bore you with my menial problems

I wish I could say that Family Day at the college involved parent-child tennis matches, a three legged race, and some face painting but it didn't.
Maybe for some of the happy college kids walking around hand in hand smiling and laughing with their much-missed parental units.
But not us.

Our child was in various types of music practice all day long.
We met him at McDonalds for lunch and he checked his Facebook account on his Mac while we talked to him.
We took him shopping for some books and picked him up a few things at Walmart.

He then went back to his classes and we went to the fall festival (normally I would have bought many crafts and the Christmas stuff was adorable) but it was 83 degrees and I didn't feel great.

We did a little more shopping, picked up his car and filled the gas tank and washed it (to surprise him) but it took awhile to find a car wash and when we got back, he was waiting for his car that we "took without asking" (excuse me- we pay for it!) to go to sectionals before the football game.
I put all the extra stuff in his car and decided that his rudeness was enough and we left.
We watched the pre-show marching but not the halftime or after show.

I think it is really awful that we drove all day to see him and he was a jerk.
Some things never change.

I watched the other parents and their kids hang out til I couldn't stand it anymore.
I didn't plan on raising a self-centered, rude child but that is what I get.
I am not going to call or e-mail him anymore just to see how he is.
I am not going to send fun packages or extra money.
He can live on the bare minimum that we decided to give him. (all of his meals are paid for and we buy the sheet music and books and extras like laundry money so he needs no money except to go hang out with his friends)
When he wants to talk to me he can call.
I hope I am not too busy.

I hope that someday he will realize that everything we have done has been for him and his brother and we wanted them to have a safe and comfortable life because we both grew up with very little.
I guess that by making his life easy, we showed him that he didn't have to work hard for anything.
Enough complaining.
My life isn't perfect and there is little I can do to fix an almost adult child.

I did find some cute black and white flats and raspberry colored flats and a few shirts while shopping.

We had to fire one of our best servers today.
Actually she quit.
She has a lot of problems with alcohol and her loser boyfriend and some run-ins with the law and we have helped her out because she has had a rough life.
We have given her more chances than she deserves and this morning she chose not to come to work and didn't even call.
A no call-no show means you quit.
She tried to come in and talk to us later and we gave her an ultimatum.
We told her to go to rehab. (and we might hire her back afterward)
She said no, no, no. ♪
But we stayed firm.
No rehab, no job.
(makes me sing that Amy Winehouse job every time I say Rehab)
She never thought we would let her go.
It is very sad because we try to do everything we can to help out our employees; many are having a hard time with money and life in general.
We loan them money and listen to their problems and let them slide on things when we know they are trying their best.
She texted and called me and Mr. Funny for awhile until I turned my phone off and went about the rest of my day.

Which meant counting quarters. (Mr. Funny has been saving them out of the giant gum machine at work and we were shocked at how many we have!
Eating pizza.
Training dogs with hot dogs.
And this.

I am working for my MIL tomorrow because it is the 6th anniversary of Mr. Funny's dad's death and his mom likes to stay at home and be alone.

This was a pitiful and very un-Funny post!
I will try to do better tomorrow.

when did I get 62 followers?
people must be hard up for entertainment to follow this sad display lately.....


  1. Sorry that your family day stunk. He will come around. He will really come around if you forget to send money! When I moved out of my parents house, I didn't talk to them for 3 months. They didn't pay my bills for me either. I think you did the right thing with your employee. Unfortunately, she will probably not get the help she needs. Cheer can only get better! :)

  2. Sorry about your family day. I remember the first one we went to, Cait was so busy rehearsing that we really didn't see her much. I think boys especially are embarrassed to show alot of emotion around their friends. Girls are easier that way I think. And employee problems, boy that's a whole 'nother subject! We have the same no call, no show rule. It's hard, but you really did the right thing. I hope she'll get the help she needs. And I hope you have a good week! Kathy

  3. Sorry family day was a bust. I think when he's about 25 he'll appreciate you. I bet the no communication will throw him off completely. It will take a while for him to notice maybe a week. Your blog is fun to read, we're not bored :) I agree on letting the employee go, a 5 second phone call would have helped her stayed employed. You can't help everyone. I wish I had a boss like you and your husband though, sounds like you all are super generous :)

  4. I think your son will come around eventually but those selfish stages are really, really hard to take.

  5. Oh the joys of being a parent up/down...sorry the family day was not totally fun..glad you were able to vent!!!

  6. Interesting. I remember going to family day at my daughter's college in Kirksville. It was almost a two hour drive to get there and we probably saw her a total of 30 minutes. That was over 15 years ago and I still remember it like it was yesterday. We are very close today - which means they do grow up eventually. Just give him time.

    We've had to practice some tough love with Mr's brother - it isn't easy - but you did the right thing.

    Hugs and even your not so funny post is a good read.

  7. hugs to you, I'm sorry parent weekend didn't go too well; I might have shared this already, I'm not sure since I follow so many blogs, but last year when my son moved out for a grand total of 3 months (got laid off, spent all his money, had to come back home), I was so sad but I resolved I wouldn't call him a lot. Someone also said that its better to almost act a bit "aloof" when they do call, like friendly but not gushy friendly. She said it helps put into perspective for them that life doesn't just revolve around them and you aren't waiting by the phone for them to call or to cater to their every wish but that you actually have a life of your own. I think it actually did help rather than me calling him a lot because he was amazed that I hadn't and actually called us a few times and came to visit. Only thing I regret is I helped him more financially than I should have during the time before he decided he had to move back home. I would have helped minimally but I did too much. But now I know for the next time he moves out.

    You are wise to give him the minimum. Sounds like he has a great set up there too so its not like he's going to be hungry or wanting.

    But don't be too hard on yourself. We did the same for our kids as far as giving them things.......

    sorry about your employee; you seem like a gem to work for, are you hiring?? I'm a good reliable employee :)

    that is a nice gesture for you to work for your MIL; its always sad remembering and missing those we love

    hugs to you


  8. Makes me sad for you that your family day didn't turn out as you had hoped. I'm so aware - as a new mom - that I don't get to be in control of so much of that. I'm praying for thicker skin for myself. Just last week in a random conversation my mom was telling me about how she gave me some of the stuff I had when I was little. I certainly had no idea the sacrifices my mom and dad made. Maybe it takes being in my thirties to really appreciate it.

  9. I'm sorry. Sometimes we do our darndest and all we come away with is a pile of shit called motherhood and life.

    My dr. told me that with seasonal effective disorder (that YOU have) it is hard as hell to treat with meds, but that there are therapies using light and stuff you can do, and just to realize that it's going to happen and plan for it and don't try to do too much. See? I pay $170 an hour to get YOU help too!

  10. I don't know very many parents who actually have a great time during Parent's Weekend. I think the schools should wait a few months until the newness has worn off for the kids. I don't talk to my son nearly as much as I would like. We text a little and talk a couple of times a week. Way different than with my daughter. The only thing that makes it easier for me is knowing that he is having the time of his life. He is totally immersed in the whole college experience and I'm really excited and happy for him. I think you are doing exactly the right thing. Don't call, don't text and don't send extra money. He'll figure out really quick that when Moms happy he benefits!
    Hang in there. It HAS to get better, right!

  11. I have a different perspective on the weekend now and if he wants to act like a brat, that is his problem. He wasn't the sweetest kid the last couple of years and I don't know why I thought he would change when he left.
    I have to ignore the anger and move ahead with all of the other exciting things going on.
    I have another one still at home to care for and he still likes me!

  12. Well now I'm glad we have yet to make a family/Parent's weekend. Too much pressure for it to be perfect. I also think colleges schedule them too early in the year - they haven't been away long enough to miss us or feel grateful.

    I tried the whole "no contact method" freshman year on my son. (He's now a junior) I know he didn't even notice until his father called him to tell him he'd better call.

    And when we moved him in this weekend, a discussion regarding his girlfriend prompted him to admit he is spoiled but not indulged. There's a difference, he says. I guess there is. At least he see's that he's spoiled. It's a start. :)
    I think they all come around eventually.

  13. You have at least 63--I just read and never register that I do so but I love your blog--so real.

  14. I try to be real. Real crazy! ha ha
    Thanks for reading even if it is anonymously!

  15. Good Lord B, my heart is breaking for you where your son is concerned. I think they really just don't get how much of our life goes into making sure they know they're loved and cared for. I mean, we spend our time getting them ready to be independent, but secretly hoping that they still need us and appreciate what we've done for them...

    It sounds as if it's going to have to take some tough love to wake him up out of jerk mode. If it were me, I'd write him a letter and tell him exactly how I felt about how family day went and how it's not cool to treat people that way, especially if they are his family. Call him out on it...I had to do that recently and the result was a conversation with my son that opened my eyes to how he was things are back to normal with us.


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