Monday, December 7, 2009

This post is about glitter and Mariah Carey is nowhere to be seen

I was going to do like Blase suggested (in yesterdays comments) and wear nothing at all with my new boots when I went to New York but then I saw this outfit and decided I HAD to have it.
And it solves my problem of finding a hat too.
Fortunately, I have the same body type as Lady Gaga so maybe she can loan me the outfit for a Broadway show or my birthday dinner.


Seriously though.
I worked for 14 hours today.
Fourteen hours.
The computer programmer, Penny, was there today from noon til 10pm when I finally went home.
Actually, she is still there with my husband (and no, I am not worried because I am pretty sure she would rather sleep with me than him if you know what I mean)
I got home and changed into my yoga pants and realized that my underwear said Victoria's Secret on the inside of the waistband.
That sets the tone for the week people.
Long days, too much coffee and inside-out underwear.

I hope all 5 of you that still read this enjoyed the Christmas decor from last year because I still did not get my stuff put out at home.

I brought the tree and all of the work decor in today and after hearing one of the cooks mention the "tree that was in my car" 6,534 times, I let him go out to my car and get it and then put it up.
The entire time he was telling me that he "effing hated Christmas" and that it was a family holiday and his family sucked and then he proceeded to sing carols and put every last ornament on that tree.

My OCD tendencies made me want to stop him a few times because he put all the glittery snowflakes in one single area while the glittery reindeer were in another but I held my tongue.
And yes, I moved them around a little so I could sleep tonight but it looks fabulous and if I get some time, I might put my own tree up.
I bought all of the ornaments at Dollar Tree 2 years ago thinking people would steal and break the ornaments and by golly, they are still fine.
Also? Every single decoration is silver with glitter so I was sparkly like a blond vampire all day.
And the gay guys that harass me ("girrrrl, you are NOT in the Christmas spirit") every day about not having a tree will be pleased tomorrow when they come in for breakfast and see the glittery hell that awaits them.

When Mr. Funny had to go to Lowe's at about 8pm for a shelf for the new printer, I jumped at the chance to escape for an hour and check out the Christmas stuff there.
Oh sweet baby Haysoos!
I found some colorful (yet cheap) ornaments to add to the silver glitter mess.
And some for the "tree that still isn't" at the villa.

I hadn't been outside for 12 hours and it was cold!!!!

And then I find out that Tiger's wife moved out and the recent adultery count is 9.
Have you seen this wife of his?
Is she a hag? Bad in the sack? Doesn't talk to him about his feelings? Burns his eggs?
Guess all that money can't buy happiness but I am thinking I could drum up a smile and some special favors for that kind of clothing allowance.
Or maybe she is perfect and he is just a pig.
And maybe she's had some work done in the boobal and nasal region (or maybe not) but I could too and I still wouldn't look that gorgeous.


I have got to throw a load of laundry in or I will have to wear these underwear right side out tomorrow and I would rather not.

And THEN I learn that there is only one episode of Glee left til next APRIL, and I wanted to cry a little.

ps.....

Mr. Funny just got home and asked if I was happy now that the house is 77 degrees (with the fireplace going) and I said "yep"
70 is just not warm enough.
Have a happy and glittery Tuesday.
I will.

8 comments:

  1. Thats a long day! Maybe you can have that cook come over and put your decorations up for you.

    I'm going with he's a pig!

    How funny, the word verification is cooks.

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  2. Your cook sounds like a softie on the inside.

    Yeah, old Tiger is just a spoiled brat.. a doctor would say it had something to do with his father and the push for nothing but golf and practice etc..married..then daddy dies and Tiger goes wild playing around cause the poor boy never got to play as a child.......in short, he is just a pig.

    Somedays I just can't be bothered to put the label on the right side...and yes I feel your shame.

    ReplyDelete
  3. That "outfit"..too funny!

    Tiger is up to "9"?? I'll be damned!

    ReplyDelete
  4. How do you have time to blog when you're working those hours?

    1 more Glee episode? That really sucks.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I feel as if I've been overlooking the treasures within dollar stores.

    Would you just put the tree up already?

    ReplyDelete
  6. I laughed so hard about your employee who hates Christmas but decorated the tree singing Christmas songs; you need to write a book about your experiences in the restaurant business; I think it would do well and you could then retire!

    what an outfit! can you imagine wearing it out in public!!

    hugs to you! I know this is a difficult day; do something for you today even if it is just a cup of coffee and alone with your thoughts for a few minutes

    betty

    ReplyDelete
  7. I'm with you. I was so very sad when they said next week was the season finale of Glee. How is that even possible???

    ReplyDelete
  8. 1. Lady GaGa is an alien who always wears weird outfits but it's not all that comfortable. I wore it yesterday to work and was cold all day.
    2. The guy who put up the tree probably doesn't like Christmas because he doesn't have a loving family. He obviously feels more Christmas spirit surrounded by his work family.
    3. Tiger's count is up to 13 and I think he may have lost some brain cells somewhere in his life. Tommy Lee from Motley Crue once said "Show me any hot girl and I will show you a guy who is tired of her". I can only assume he was talking about Pamela Lee Anderson. Some people just don't appreciate what they have until it's gone.

    ReplyDelete

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