Saturday, February 6, 2010

Add yesterday to my list of terrible, horrible, no good, very bad and quite stinky days

Last night, after I posted to my blog and put away my notebook to get some things done, I let the dogs out and while I was out with them, I grabbed a few pieces of the wood I had brought up to the deck.
30 seconds later, 3 of the dogs (Molly was still standing by my feet- she is the good one) came running like bats out of hell from the back part of the yard.
They were whining and sneezing and diving face first into the snow.
And a smell accosted my nostrils.
Burning rubber tires.

That is what a skunk smells like when it first sprays. Also sulfur.
They were foaming at the mouth and rolling in the snow.
The smell was so bad that I still have a headache from it.

I put them in the garage (lest they go after it again- they are dogs and they aren't necessarily rocket scientists) and called Mr. Funny to have him bring home baking soda and peroxide and Dawn and Listerine.

After I had a good cry, I locked them in the kitchen (they tear up things in the garage) and when Mr. got home, I went to work on Skip first.
I might have gotten some of the mixture in their eyes but at that point, the fact that they may go blind was intriguing because if you are blind, you cannot SEE the black and white kitties that you chase.
When Skip was rinsed, I poured Listerine on him. I don't know if it worked but he is minty fresh.
Kona was put in Mr. Funny's coffin shower.
She was pissed.
And then Finn who, for a thin dog, is surprisingly strong and he worked himself into such a tizzy, he actually went into shock. Just stood there while I washed his face over and over with this paste stuff and Dawn and then used the handheld shower nozzle to spray him straight in the face and neck.

There was a lot of dog hair.
In the shower, on the walls, on the floor.

We got them cleaned and dried and fluffed and gave them all a Benadryl to calm them down and Mr. Funny put Visine moisture drops into their eyes (their eyes got a lot of skunk oil in them and were red and swollen) and gave them a treat.
I sniffed them.
They were all clean as can be.
Ans Skip was still minty fresh.

I cleaned the bathroom, washed 6,739 towels and put them all to bed.
The Little one was kind enough to point out that I "had some black stuff under my eyes and something in my hair"
Really?

People, I really wanted to take a webcam photo of myself because even when you see yourself at your worst and you think you could never look any uglier, I was there.
The ounce of pride I had left stopped me.
Baking soda and peroxide mixture hanging from my hair (good news, I don't need highlights next week after all), dog hair stuck to my cheeks and chin and lips, white stuff running down my arms and dried there, soaking wet shirt covered in hair, mascara running down my face and huge swollen eyes (from the crying, the strong smell and getting soap in them when Finn lunged out of the shower and ran into me face first, almost putting my eye out- good news, bb guns hardly ever put eyes out as often as lunging and pissed off German Shepherds), my nails were bent and broken, my bottom lip was swelling, my nose was burning.

After a shower, I went to bed.
As I was falling asleep, I scratched my nose.
My fingers smelled like skunk. Bad.

How does that happen after all of those baths and such?
I got up and made more paste, rubbed it on, rinsed and poured vinegar on my hand.
Finally I went to bed. With wet hair and an aching back.

This morning, I had my coffee and Little One said he kept getting a whiff of skunk.
Everything is washed, cleaned, wiped.
One of the dogs threw up yellow skunk oil vomit behind the couch. 3 times.

Mr. Funny went out last night with his gun to get rid of that dirty rotten bastard skunk, (which is probably under the shed) and said there was yellow skunk oil all over the side of the shed and in the snow.
Today he will hopefully find the critter and dispose of it, til then they are only going out front.
Just another day at the Funny Farm.

Just another day at the Funny Farm.

ps.
to get the smell out of the air in the house, I boiled a pan full of vinegar and today I am burning my Satsuma oil plus I opened a window or 2 for an hour- it seems to be gone

Just another day at the Funny Farm.

13 comments:

  1. Oh goodness, I'm so sorry! That sounds truly awful. I have enough trouble when my two dogs get stinky, and they're considerably smaller than yours. I hope your home/dogs/self are smelling clean and fresh today.

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  2. Oh my! That sounds like a terrible adventure. And I thought you had listed quite a bad day BEFORE.

    Hope this one is better.

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  3. Oh my gosh!!!!! In all these years, I have never had to deal with skunk. It has been top of the list of my worst fears. We were camping one summer and a skunk ambled right through our camp site. We sat as quiet as possible and it went on by. About a minute later we smelled the "scent" from on down the way. Whew! That would have put a definite damper on our camping trip!

    I love my VW! I've had it almost 6 years now and don't want to ever part with it.

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  4. What happened to tomato juice?

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  5. Awful day! You're right, tomato juice doesn't work. A mixture of baking soda, hydrogen peroxide and a bit of dawn dishwashing soap is best. And just to let you know, it's best not to use Visine or any human opthalmic prep in a dog's eyes. You can use plain artificial tears safely, but that's about it. And benadryl is great to have on hand, it will clear the redness up safely. Hope the rest of your weekend gets ALOT better. Kathy

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  6. Oh, man, that sucks!! Sounds like you need some more retail therapy! :)

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  7. Oh, this is completely horrible. I feel so bad for you. Hope today is a better day.

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  8. what a nightmare! I feel for you all! (especially you) poor dogs! they didn't know what was coming, first skunk and then a BATH; I'm sure they were traumatized for sure

    what a mess to clean up after and you had to do it x3! what a trooper you are!

    hoping the rest of the weekend picks up for you; its been a rough one already!

    betty

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  9. I really really hope there is no providence in the timing of your post... and finding out after nearly 50 years of being told tomato juice was the answer that it is useless.....
    Just in case......
    what is the exact de-skunking formula? I have an awful feeling I may need it someday.

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  10. Oh my STARS! I wouldn't have had the slightest IDEA what to do. I'm so SO sorry!

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  11. I've been out of town working a home and garden show for the past 10 straight days, thought i had it bad, i was wrong. So sorry about your night, But I must say my friend and i got a good laugh at how you told the story! Sue

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  12. @eloh - it's a mixture of hydrogen peroxide, baking soda and a smidge of dawn dishwashing liquid - of course I have the exact formula at work (I work for a vet) - if you're dogs can stay out of trouble until tomorrow I can e-mail it to you or I'm sure you can find it by googling. Kathy

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