Thursday, August 14, 2014

Ha and also haha



Funny things (to me) that have happened recently.
A cute, elderly lady handed me a Carefree panty liner instead of a $20 at work yesterday. She then proceeded to laugh till she almost peed her pants telling me she had no idea why she still has one of those. And that she does that all the time. Methinks she could use it to catch laugh-induced-pee-dribbles.

I fall over almost every time I try to take off skinny jeans. Sometimes I sit on the bed or the edge of the tub but mostly, I just try to take them off while standing and fall over. Then I laugh so hard I need a Carefree.

I sing stupid songs to the dogs. Sometimes I am on the back deck singing away and notice my neighbor out by his pool or the other neighbor watering his garden. The neighbors aren't super close but I sing super loud.

If you say something in a singsong voice, it doesn't sound as bitchy. Like, "don't stop, the sweeping" to the tune of Journey when my server has missed a few spots while sweeping the lobby. My husband thinks a simple "your floors still look bad" works.

I was carrying a baby around (at work) while her parents ate breakfast and a customer asked me if she was my grandchild. Whatever.

When people say "you haven't had MY egg salad" "scrambled egg casserole" etc...... when I tell them I hate eggs. Eggs are still eggs no matter what the crap you do with them. I still hate them.

Aaaand done.




9 comments:

  1. I think that was sweet of you to hold the baby so the parents could enjoy their meal. I'm thinkng they might be regulars that they felt comfortable you doing so?

    betty

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  2. That panty liner story is hilarious!

    Um...grandchild?!?! WTF?!?

    Hey, how about I move down there, and you guys can hire me as the official "baby holder" for the restaurant? The customers would love it. They won't have to hire a sitter to enjoy a nice meal, and I'd get all the baby yumminess I need!! ;-)

    xoxox

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  3. OMG!! You made my day! Giggly post, for sure! Love the Carefree twenty--ROFL!! OMG!! Keep singing loud, woman! :) :)

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  4. Very funny about the panty-liner. keep singing. It's good for the soul.

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  5. Oh my gosh - I LOVE this!!! The segue from the panty liner bit to the part where you needed one after falling over and laughing - PRICELESS!!

    Every part of this - my favorite....except the grandchild part. YOU DO NOT look old enough to be a grandma! Gimme a break!

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  6. Hysterical!! Thanks for the out loud belly laughs!!

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  7. but .... you haven't had MY egg salad. tee hee.

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  8. I sing to my dog all the time. She doesn't care that I can't sing worth a hoot.

    I have been a grandma (Mimi) since I was 37. They aren't allowed to call me grandma.

    I hate deer meat, and I get the "you haven't had MY deer meat all the time, so I get it.

    Good to see you on here.

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  9. You crack me up! My husband sings stuff too but not to any real tune. He should try that. :-)

    Jayme @ Her Late Night Cravings

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