Thursday, August 14, 2014
Ha and also haha
Funny things (to me) that have happened recently.
A cute, elderly lady handed me a Carefree panty liner instead of a $20 at work yesterday. She then proceeded to laugh till she almost peed her pants telling me she had no idea why she still has one of those. And that she does that all the time. Methinks she could use it to catch laugh-induced-pee-dribbles.
I fall over almost every time I try to take off skinny jeans. Sometimes I sit on the bed or the edge of the tub but mostly, I just try to take them off while standing and fall over. Then I laugh so hard I need a Carefree.
I sing stupid songs to the dogs. Sometimes I am on the back deck singing away and notice my neighbor out by his pool or the other neighbor watering his garden. The neighbors aren't super close but I sing super loud.
If you say something in a singsong voice, it doesn't sound as bitchy. Like, "don't stop, the sweeping" to the tune of Journey when my server has missed a few spots while sweeping the lobby. My husband thinks a simple "your floors still look bad" works.
I was carrying a baby around (at work) while her parents ate breakfast and a customer asked me if she was my grandchild. Whatever.
When people say "you haven't had MY egg salad" "scrambled egg casserole" etc...... when I tell them I hate eggs. Eggs are still eggs no matter what the crap you do with them. I still hate them.